The Beginning

Every blog has to start somewhere, right?  Well mine started about 30 minutes ago.  I had just finished reading another exquisite John Grisham book and had turned off my bed light, rolling over with hopes of falling into a deep slumber, despite my current illness.  As I closed my eyes, I began praying, a habit I had developed through years of being raised in a strict, God-fearing church.  Now this may seem normal until you realize the fact that I had denounced this church only months ago, finally winning the seemingly endless inner battle with faith.  As I prayed to a God who I am still unconvinced even exists, I neared the end of my list of thanks and wants.  I began to end with a mental, silent 'Amen' when I began questioning the purpose of the 'Amen' itself. 

If there is a God, I would hope he would be kind, forgiving, and like my best friend.  If He wants us to talk to him, why would he request the formality of an Amen at the end?  Is speaking with God so difficult that we have to end it with an 'Amen', liken to an 'Over' on a walkie-talkie conversation, so he knows we're done?  What sort of omnipotent being is this?! 

After a quick Google search, the evident definition of Amen is: Uttered at the end of a prayer or hymn, meaning ‘so be it.'  Umm... REALLY?!  OK so from MY childhood, I was told Amen was like an agreement, like yes, I agree with that prayer.  So, in a congregational setting, it makes TONS of sense.  In a personal setting, with no one in the room but my Russian Blue, Buddy (who, while vocal, I doubt would chime in on an 'Amen), is there really a purpose for this?

Obviously after this intense mental conversation with myself, I felt the need to ask others for their opinion.  The only problem?  My family doesn't really know I've left the church that they hold so dearly to their hearts, and I don't really see a purpose of causing worry in their lives and hearts by telling them.  I can live my life without having to declare every decision I make... right?  And so, I began thinking of my long-lost love of Blogging.  I have blogged in the past, but with one fatal decision.  I made my identity too well-known, so when I wanted to rant, rave, or talk shit, I was still restricted.

So welcome to The Life Lessons of the Middle-Class and Unknown.  I'm a college student, working my last year of a Bachelor's Degree and applying to Grad Schools as we speak.  I live in Podunk, a small town located in the middle of Nowhere, USA.  Who I am doesn't matter.  What I think does.  Wish me luck.